Given the current circumstances, the first-year experience brings a new reality to students with distanced learning, and a Zoom-packed schedule. But how does this affect one's journey with impostor phenomenon?
“Fiza” sat down with us, a first-year MBP (Medical Biophysics) student who works in the Department of Translational Medicine, to share her journey with Impostor Phenomenon, through the lens of a first-year graduate student during the pandemic.
Moving from her fourth-year undergrad, the most burnt out she’s ever felt, Fiza highlights the change in her mindset from her undergraduate career to her graduate experience. Moving from successes defined by grades and academic standing, she felt herself in a new position, questioning whether she belongs and “fits in”, all while lacking that initial face to face connection with lab members that many of us take for granted.
Having the research experience to back her up prepped her, but starting in a new lab during the pandemic brought new challenges. It maintained the “I still feel like I’m on my own” mindset that many undergraduate students feel, possibly magnified by the pandemic. This is an addition to challenges of connecting with lab members virtually and the feeling that you’re not progressing enough on this new project that you are so eager to work on.
So how do we even start to overcome these feelings?
Fiza states that for her, “while imposter syndrome feels linked to one's perception of faults in their personal achievements, it can instead result from the feeling of not belonging to the academic community.”
As a Pakistani Muslim woman in science, Fiza highlights the huge importance of having diverse representation within her community, a big reason as to why her impostor syndrome was not linked to being a woman in science. By attending a multitude of women in STEM conferences, it showed her that there is an empowering community of STEM-oriented women to support her and that women do and can belong in this space.
Now, halfway into her first year, Fiza has started to build that community within her lab, scheduling coffee zoom calls with individual lab members. She has defined a better work-life balance for herself - rather than cramming in as much work as possible, understanding that some days are meant to be “days off” and focused on recharging oneself (which has become more and more challenging as many of our work and home environments have become one).
Her piece of advice to students who may feel the same way is to "make it a habit to read up on imposter syndrome and to discuss it actively with your peers. This way, you gradually become conscious about it, which is the first step to healing”.
Secondly, to find an activity that speaks to your mindfulness. For Fiza, “consistently reading books and online forums focused on imposter syndrome helps me develop an awareness of the phenomenon”. It also facilitates mindfulness on how it impacts her life and others around her, which for Fiza, additionally stems from being a TA, a healing experience through her mentorship and the impact she has on her students.
From me, I suggest congratulating yourselves for continuously choosing you, and moving forward every day. I for one, understand the struggles some students may feel during the pandemic, but, you’re not alone, and we have come so far!
Congrats and until next time,
Premy
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